Imagine the scene…
Wife: |
I have been up at 5am every morning to get to work on time after not sleeping more than 3 hours straight due to breastfeeding. I am exhausted. Would you please do something to help me? |
Husband: |
I can’t help you breastfeed |
Wife: |
That is not what I meant! |
Husband: |
Just tell me what you want! |
It took me about 4 years (ok 14 years) and hundreds of these ineffective conversations to really accept and live true to what Menash was saying… Don’t justify your request, simply ask for it. If the person needs justification they will ask for it.
Yes, this does mean that I have to slow down enough to identify my emotions, figure out what is causing them, and then figure out what would help me. Realistically this is my responsibility anyway if I am to live in a healthy way. Regardless of if I am asking for someone else’s help or just my own.
The revised version of the above conversation goes something like this:
Wife: |
Will you please wake up with the kids and give them breakfast so I can sleep? |
Husband: |
Absolutely! |
Thank you, Menash Zadik!